Revise to condense these sentences to as few words as possible:

We are of the conviction that writing is important. In all probability, we're likely to have a price increase. Our goals include making a determination about that in the near future. When all is said and done at the conclusion of this experiment, I'd like to summarize the final windup. After a trial period of three week, during which time she worked for a total of 15 full working days, we found her work was sufficiently satisfactory so that we offered her full-time work.

Question

Business

Max Schaefer

13 July, 03:50

Revise to condense these sentences to as few words as possible:

We are of the conviction that writing is important. In all probability, we're likely to have a price increase. Our goals include making a determination about that in the near future. When all is said and done at the conclusion of this experiment, I'd like to summarize the final windup. After a trial period of three week, during which time she worked for a total of 15 full working days, we found her work was sufficiently satisfactory so that we offered her full-time work.

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Answers (1)

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Aldo Nunez · Answer 1

Answer and Explanation:

The excerpt shows one common mistake committed in Business writing: using lengthy phrases. Wordy messages increase unnecessarily the volume of the message making it less understandable. Business writing must be objective, clear, concise, unbiased and avoid hidden verbs, exuberance, and redundancy. Thus, the excerpt should be written as follows to comply with business writing rules:

We are of the conviction that writing is important. Writing is important.

In all probability, we're likely to have a price increase. It is possible there will be a price increase.

Our goals include making a determination about that in the near future. We plan to decide that soon.

When all is said and done at the conclusion of this experiment, I'd like to summarize the final windup. I will give a brief summary following the experiment.

After a trial period of three weeks, during which time she worked for a total of 15 full working days, we found her work was sufficiently satisfactory so that we offered her full-time work. We offered her a full-time position after she proved herself during a three week trial period.