Read these sentences from a student's draft.
Which revision is the best example of adding concrete
details?
Abc
The firefighters went to the wrong place. It took them too
long.
O The firefighters responded when "shouts of 'Fire!'
were heard" (Murphy 33). They were quick to arrive
but had already wasted time.
Tired and unsteady, the firefighters were not
prepared for the job. It took a while.
O A signal mistake cost time because "dozens of
firefighters were sent on a wild-goose chase"
(Murphy 33).
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