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21 December, 20:26

In the bold portion of the narrative, the author tries to use a flashback to develop tension. However, the flashback does not create tension. Rewrite the flashback scene so it develops tension right at the beginning of the story.

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  1. 21 December, 23:48
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    Paul knew the seriousness of this meeting becaueebhad been here before, more than once in which as he sat in silence, his last encounter with Principal Sweet played in his mind.

    "Paul, your behavior will cause you very serious issues and impede you from progressing in your education. I will have no other choice but to expel you if this continues." said Principal Sweet as he looked at Paul."I know, sir," replied Paul. As Paul's mind returned to the present, every muscle in his body was tightened.

    Explanation:

    Paul knew the seriousness of this meeting becaueebhad been here before, more than once in which as he sat in silence, his last encounter with Principal Sweet played in his mind.

    "Paul, your behavior will cause you very serious issues and impede you from progressing in your education. I will have no other choice but to expel you if this continues." said Principal Sweet as he looked at Paul."I know, sir," replied Paul. As Paul's mind returned to the present, every muscle in his body was tightened.
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