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13 June, 01:26

Which is the best revision of the concluding sentence?

Read the excerpt from a student's essay,

Putting on a bike helmet is the most important part of

preparing for a bicycle ride. Helmets protect the brain and

neck. They have been proven to reduce injuries by over 50

percent. It is important that helmets fit properly and that

fasteners work correctly. I wear a helmet with a spider-web

design

Bike helmets are important because they protect riders

when worn properly.

Bike helmets with spider-web designs are the most

effective.

Bike helmets have been known to cause accidents,

Bike helmets are expensive, but they are a good

investment

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Answers (1)
  1. 13 June, 04:37
    0
    A good way to revise this is to really think about how you are writing first you put in radomly that you have a helemet with a spider web design and then later you mention that they are the most effective first they are sentences apart they should be toghther and you need to give examples on how they are the most effective you also say that helmets have cause accident and are dangerous give a deeper explination of that
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