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29 September, 11:56

Which revision would most improve sentence 7? suggesting an alternative plan to replace the current school calendar explaining why the current school calendar is outdated and inefficient expressing an opinion about those who oppose changing the calendar restating the strongest piece of evidence used to support the claim

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  1. 29 September, 15:54
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    The revision which would most improve sentence 7 is the one that follows:

    Suggest an alternative plan to replace the current school calendar. Explain why it is outdated and inefficient. Express an opinion about those who oppose changing it. Restate the strongest piece of evidence used to support the claim.

    Comments: The paragraph above contains instructions for a school assignment or something like that. Since there were instructions, it was necessary to change the verbs from "ing" form to imperative (used to give orders, commands, instructions). Punctuation had to be changed as well: a few pauses were added, and that was done with periods (.). In order to make it less repetitive, it was the right choice to replace "the current school calendar" with the pronoun "it" (third person singular) from the second time we talked about "the current school calendar" on.
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