Which sentence or pair of sentences illustrates wordiness and redundancy?

A) The ocean looks like a bejeweled expanse of splendor. Only nature can hold such breathtaking beauty, and to replicate it is impossible.

B) Jupiter is the largest and most prominent planet in the solar system. It is the fifth planet in the solar system, followed by the planet Saturn, which is the sixth planet in the solar system.

C) Lily found this marvelous dress in the shop. She was so amazed at the delicate needlework that ran up and down the sleeves.

D) Sam goes to the park to play basketball every day. He teams up with his twin sister and friends, who also enjoy the game immensely.

Question

English

Micheal

4 October, 08:49

Which sentence or pair of sentences illustrates wordiness and redundancy?

A) The ocean looks like a bejeweled expanse of splendor. Only nature can hold such breathtaking beauty, and to replicate it is impossible.

B) Jupiter is the largest and most prominent planet in the solar system. It is the fifth planet in the solar system, followed by the planet Saturn, which is the sixth planet in the solar system.

C) Lily found this marvelous dress in the shop. She was so amazed at the delicate needlework that ran up and down the sleeves.

D) Sam goes to the park to play basketball every day. He teams up with his twin sister and friends, who also enjoy the game immensely.

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Answers (1)

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Jerry Salinas · Answer 1

B) Jupiter is the largest and most prominent planet in the solar system. It is the fifth planet in the solar system, followed by the planet Saturn, which is the sixth planet in the solar system.

The second half of the second sentence here "which is the sixth planet in the solar system" is redundant and unnecessary. The author has already told the reader that Saturn comes after Jupiter, which is the 5th planet. The reader should be able to then understand that Saturn is the 6th.