When the narrator asks the raven, "is there a balm in gilead?" what is he really asking?

The poem is about personally inflicted pain due to loss of love (like a breakup) "is there a balm in Gilead?" is actually a Bible reference, Gilead is a part of modern day Jordan, known for it's healing ointment. The narrator is really asking if there is any healing. The narrator continually asks dark questions of the raven fully knowing that the answer is always, "nevermore" therefore inflicting a sort of mental torture. Some people cut themselves, this guy asks birds what they think.

(not putting down self harmers, I'm one myself)