Distinguish between You-language and I language

You-language

The receiver may hear your message as criticism, which may feel like a threat to the relationship, which in turn may promote defensiveness in the receiver.

-Because it tends to cast blame on the other person.

I-language

the remedy comes in the form of a type of language. It takes responsibility for the impact the other person's behavior has on you, rather than simply scolding or casting blame.